Transition

New Years is the epitome of transition. There isn’t one among us who hasn’t, at one point or another, used the turning of the calendar page to attempt to evolve or recreate themselves. Usually, those transitions, more commonly referred to by most of us as “resolutions” read more like a wish list – lose weight, stop smoking, drink less, exercise more – and usually, they last days, weeks, maybe even months; but rarely do they ever amount to a true transition.

Transition is more akin to metamorphosis than to an overnight quick fix dictated by a flip of a page. Therein lies the rub. A Monarch butterfly doesn’t just up and overnight go from caterpillar to butterfly. No, the caterpillar transforms over a long process into the butterfly. It is part of its lifecycle. It is slow and gradual and comes in due time once the forward momentum has begun. It amuses me that we humans believe with all our hubris that we can simply transform ourselves instantaneously into something different or better simply because we wish it into existence. Change takes work. It is a process, not a quick fix.

The irony though is that for our all our collective desire to be different and change ourselves or our circumstances, we concurrently fear and detest change itself. Change by its very definition means “different, modify or alter” yet we really don’t want any of these things. Time and again we dig our collective heels in and protest any attempt at change. We have all seen it. We like sameness. We crave consistency, routine, familiarity even when it is to our own detriment or to the detriment of others. Yet, there we are, juxtaposing our desire to change with our loathing of change.

Realize that change can be good, but it is a process and not a quick fix. Quick fixes often fail, and real change requires stamina, forward momentum and hard work. The flip of the calendar page can be the start, but it is only that, without the hard work and the time there can be no transition.

Blessings to you and yours for a happy and healthy 2021.

“Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to is better than the one to come?”

― Rumi

Pandemic Easter

We’ve been hunkered down for the last almost month due to the COVID-19 pandemic. I’m more fortunate than most, since I am lucky enough to have someone to share these quarantined times with in my home. Besides, we both essentially work from home, so our work day schedules have been minimally disrupted, so as I said, we are luckier than most.

Unfortunately however, for this mom, the extensions of my soul –my three guys — are not with us. They are all living and working, for the most part, about 1 1/2 hours away. We keep in touch and actually have a video chat scheduled for later today.

Fortunately, (I’ve tried to always look for the positive in any situation for mu own mental health) we are blessed in many ways. No one in our family, or our extended family, and friends, as far as I know as I write this, are ill. We are lucky to live in this time, with this technology, so we can “see” and “share” with those we love, those who make us laugh and those we hold close to our hearts.

I’ve tried to make the best of things, focusing on making things (okay, mostly carbs, but hey, it’s a pandemic), keeping busy and trying to smile and laugh. I don’t always succeed, like the time I brought down into tears driving back from the grocery store when the reality of the fact that I could contract this virus, bring it home and potentially be the cause of my husband (who has asthma) catching this and potentially having a horrible outcome.

Wherever you are, may you be blessed with the love of family and friends, no matter how far from you on this day. Happy Easter, may this season of birth and renewal bring you good health and happiness.

Happy Birthday Tim!

Who would have guessed that this cute little bundle that came into our lives and completed our family 22 years ago today would turn into such an amazing young man.

Who would have guessed he would be our actor and our singer? That his voice would melt my heart every time I hear him sing, just like my heart melted the day he came into our lives.

So hard to believe that it has been 22 years and yet, so amazing to watch this little person become the man he is today. So proud of you, Tim, today and always.

You will always be my baby no matter how old you are today.

My birthday wish for you today and always:

May you live a long life full of gladness and health, with a pocket full of gold as the least of your wealth, may the dreams you hold dearest be the ones which come true, may the kindness you spread, keep returning back to you.

Possa tu essere sempre benedetto con tanto amore, risate e felicità per tutta la vita. Siamo molto, molto orgogliosi di te e ti amiamo moltissimo.

All my love,

Mom

Ripple Effects

Yesterday I had the pleasure of having a late lunch meeting with a friend that I haven’t seen in a while but needed some legal advice. Turns out, when I left our meeting, I realized that, unbeknown to her, I left that meeting with some advice of my own and a little shot in the arm that I didn’t realize I had needed. I had the pleasure of listening to her plans for a future endeavor and it made me realize that I needed to stop and smell the roses myself and find something to look forward to and make me smile and so very excited and passionate.

It’s easy to get bogged down in the day-to-day, especially when some of those days of late have been real doozers, packed with a lot of stress and not much feeling of accomplishment, and the resulting, ongoing to-do list growing ever longer despite it all. Plus, somewhere in the back of my mind, (probably due to graduation looming on the horizon), there has been this nagging, sad feeling that there’s not much to look forward to at this age, since the “exciting” part of life – the hopes, the dreams, the aspirations where you feel you can take on the world and the possibilities are endless, appear behind me as I stand here, more than halfway through the 50s with grown kids who will, in a few short months, be off to live their own lives and face all that possibility and excitement. Envious of what awaits them? Maybe a little. Struggling with the sadness, reality and finality of the empty nest in a few months when they graduate? Probably most likely.

But, during our conversation yesterday, listening to her thoughtfulness about her next steps and her excitement in what may lay ahead, I felt encouraged. I left that meeting with a little, much needed, additional spring in my step and some hope that there’s something exciting out there for me too.

And that, my friends, is an example of how one never knows how one human may touch another human’s soul and psyche without even realizing it. How what you say or what you do, may indirectly affect and ripple outward to others. So, let your words and your actions be kind, for you never know.

To my friend, thank you. ❤

Happy Birthday Tyler!

Tyler, I can’t wait to see what this coming year holds for you. Graduation around the corner and the world laying at your feet. Go out there, spread that smile in your caring, kind, quiet way –the world right now needs many more kind and thoughtful humans. It will be a better place because of you, wherever your journey takes you. The people who are a part of your life will be lucky and blessed to know you and I consider myself one of them. I love you always, more than you will even know.

Each of my boys is different and it always amazes me, considering how close they are in age to each other and knowing they were exposed in the same time period to the same things. Ty is a quiet, thoughtful, caring and empathetic human being. I cannot say how proud I am to be his mom and how lucky I am to get those smiles.

It’s so hard to believe that 23 years have flown by so quickly. Through all those years, the little boy who has somehow morphed before my very eyes into a caring, smart, handsome young man, has had the same amazing smile, that lights up his whole face and makes his eyes twinkle. If you are lucky enough to get one of those smiles, you know exactly what I mean.

Happy Birthday with love from your biggest cheerleader,

Mom

Winter Mountains

One of the nice things about living where we do, up on a mountain, is that getting outdoors to play in the snow is not a project. It does not involve packing up the car, lugging your stuff across a parking lot, packing lunch and doing it all in reverse at the end of the day. Here, it involves putting on your snowshoes or cross country ski boots and walking out the door. We are blessed with beautiful woods and trails in our backyard, neighbors who share our love of the outdoors and their trails and the National Forest in our backyard.

This weekend, I put on snowshoes, took the dogs and walked through the woods for almost an hour, enjoying all that it had to offer on a beautiful, sunny winter day. I came back, did a few errands, put up sauce for dinner and then put on my cross country skis and did it again.

It was good to be outside and nice to know that I can enjoy the wonders of the winter right from my own backyard. Hope you are enjoying the wonders of winter!

Nothing to Say

I have nothing to say. I look at this page and I want to fill it with insightful, interesting, quirky words – words that will pour out of me and inspire those who glance upon it, but I have nothing to say.

I take a quick internal assessment. What do I have to share? What wisdom do I have to impart? I stop and realize that I am in a desert of sorts – I am no longer a mother of babies or young children, I’ve flown (by the seat of my pants, I might add) through being a parent of teens and I am no longer even a new empty nester, with college graduation looming on the horizon.

I’m a lawyer, but that’s boring to write about and I don’t feel like I’ve accomplished much there either, grazing over the decades, never really finding my niche. Someone else, (usually my husband), chimes in whenever anyone does socially casually ask for legal input; why do I need to bother – there are so many people out there who seem to know so much more than I do, what do I have to offer — so I sit nodding.

I’m a person who is searching, looking for something. The next chapter, the next part, the next something. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy what I do, I just don’t feel like I’m accomplished at it – when so many friends are talking ending their careers to retire in a few years, I shake my head – no, wait, I haven’t even started mine!

I’ve read so much about finding your passion, re-igniting a hobby that was a favorite before kids, starting a new one or a different career, which begets yet another series of questions – what is it that I enjoy? Where is my passion?

I do a lot, I’m not going to lie. I chair my district’s school board, I participate in several of the board committees, I am a member of the local Rotary club, I work. It’s all good and I enjoy the time spent with the people with whom I share these various opportunities. But what do I do for me? What makes me happy? What makes me smile? Those are questions that only I can answer and sometimes I feel like the clock is winding down and I may never get an answer to those questions. I may never find my niche, my place, the thing that makes me happy and makes me smile for me.

Will I leave this world without much of a footprint upon it? No, that is not true. I will leave three – three wonderful, amazing, inspiring human beings who I hope will make the world a better place. They are my everything.

So, then I ask myself, is that it? Is that the reason I have been placed on this earth at this time – have I accomplished what I was set out to do? Am I now done; if so, why bother searching, there is nothing left to do, to give, to be?

Am I the only one with nothing to say?

New Year’s Appreciation

Throwing the calendar to a new page, heck to a whole new calendar.

Happy 2019! The holidays have come and have gone. It’s hard to believe that the brief (too brief) time we all spent together is over, but it will hold a special, cherished place in my heart and my memories. To say it’s easy to see the boys leave and go back to school is not true, but the sadness lessens and is replaced with appreciation.

~Appreciation that we raised the boys to believe that the family is important enough to make the effort, time and plans to spend the Christmas holiday together

~Appreciation that we are able to be together and missing those that are no longer with us as we celebrate

~Appreciation that these moments in time are truly blessings and should be enjoyed to their fullest because life is precious.

~Appreciation that we are blessed with family and friends who choose to spend time with us and make us laugh and remember the things that we, by ourselves, may forget.

Often, the New Year is seen as a time to reflect upon what is wrong with each of us and what needs to be fixed – ie -lose weight, exercise more, drink less, stop smoking, whatever else might make up those “this is what’s wrong with me lists” we each make up in our heads as the calendar comes to a close.

Truly, New Year’s should be a time to take stock and reflect upon what is good with us, what is right in our world and what we are blessed with so we can walk into the new year filled with love, light, energy and good thoughts. There is so much negativity out there in the world, maybe a “reset” on our frame of mind would be a good way to start this new year.

I am taking part in a 52 week photo challenge. The first week’s prompt is to take a photo that describes who you are without showing your face. The prompt got me to thinking — who am I? What sums “me” up without showing my face? A provoking question to ask and I’ll have a week to think about it and post my photo describing myself to the group. I’m interested to see what I come up with, aren’t you?

Unplugged Winter Wonderland

Here on the hill we were the recipients of the most beautiful snowstorm that has come around these parts in a while. The snow was wet and heavy and clung to every surface and every single stalk, bough or branch, even the tiniest. It created an amazing winter wonderland, comparable only to the very tippy-top of the ski mountains where everything contains a frosty, magical white coating. 

Winter Wonderland 

I love snow. My feeling is that winter shouldn’t exist unless there is snow on the ground. No snow and we might as well be gardening and growing things. 

• 

• 

• 

• 

With every plus, however there is a minus. With all that breathtaking clingy snow, came downed trees, some bowing so heavily under the weight of the snow that they look as if they are bent in a deep curtesy, their gentle tops almost brushing the ground below. Some branches couldn’t support all that weight and broke off, tumbling to the ground below and in many instances taking electricity lines down with them. So, while we are living in a winter wonderland, we are doing it without electricity. 

How, might you ask then am I typing this and communicating electronically with all of you? The power of the generator, I tell you. I remember when we first bought this house, I thought a generator was not necessary, but I soon learned differently. You see, here on the hill, when the power goes out, it could be out for a while. And while candles and cooking over the open flame might sound romantic and very grounding, it is – but water, in the form of a hot shower, flushing toilets and that with which to cook and drink, doesn’t happen when you are on a well and lose power unless you have a generator. The winter is a little easier to deal with than the summer, especially if the gorgeous white stuff is outside, because you can fill a pot of snow and bring it in and melt it over the wood stove, but it doesn’t work as well, or at all for that fact, in the summer, when there is no fluffy white stuff outside your door. And for those without the power of the wood stove to heat your house, it can get mighty chilly mighty fast without electricity to heat the house. 

Surprise Package

Today, when I picked up the mail, there was a small box addressed to me. I wasn’t expecting any packages so this was an unexpected treat. A longtime friend who just visited with us a couple weeks ago and designs her own wire-wrapped jewelry sent along a gift. When I saw the return address, I was excited. It was such a delight to open up the box and see this:

Our friend Maria brought along her collection of polished stones and gems along with some of her jewelry when she visited us from Washington state a few weeks ago. I was fortunate enough to watch her make several pieces while she was here visiting and  amazed at how she can transform a simple stone and hair thin strands of silver into an elegant article of jewelry with such ease. In addition to setting the stones she buys at various rock shows and online, Maria also polishes her own stones from rocks she finds in her adventures.

While she was here, she did some hiking and exploring gathering some rocks as she was traveling about Vermont which she then shipped home (after all, who wants to lug around rocks in their luggage?).

This particular piece that she sent to me is made from piece of marble that Maria found at the Dorset quarry. She polished the rock, turning it into this beautiful stone that she sent along to me! It is such a thoughtful and unique thank you gift, and one that I will treasure.

Here is a picture of the rock she gathered for a “before and after” so you can also appreciate the work that went into the making of this gift.

Photo credit: @mlanger

{“cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:0.073312207064356372,”customExposureMode”:1,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:1}

{“cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:1.4926042556762695,”customExposureMode”:0,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:0}

If you think this is beautiful, (which it is) you need to see her other pieces, each more lovely than the next. I would encourage you to go check out ML Jewelry Designs if you’d like to get one of her creations for your very own or as a gift (hint-hint the holidays are coming and obviously Maria ships!) or, for more of these before and after type pictures of rocks she has transformed and turned into jewelry, check out her twitter feed @mlanger.

Thank you Maria! 🙂

Putting by

Fall is definitely in the air here in Vermont. The trees are showing what’s left of their yellow, orange and red selves. It’s definitely “putting by” season. We had a definite frost/freeze last night and it’s a good thing that I spent a few days gathering what was left in the garden. However, with the harvest coming the processing, the part that sounds good but is so time consuming. As I type this, celery leaves are drying in the dehydrator, second batch. The first batch of those and a jar of sun dried cherry tomatoes are already stored away. Basil has been pureed with olive oil and frozen into tablespoon size portions to mix in soups or pasta sauces. Potatoes are dug and in the shed, drying so they are easier to dust the dirt from before moving into the basement for storage. The onions, which were picked several weeks ago, are there too, now ready to put by in the basement for fall and winter usage.

A very pleasant surprise were the volunteer tomatillos that were growing in the garden. I was convinced that they would not be ready to harvest, but pleasantly surprised to gather a large basketful, weighing in close to 8 pounds. Some of them have already been roasted with said onions and peppers for a green salsa.

The voles commandeered most of the beet crop but I was able to gather a handful to enjoy. They don’t seem fond of the carrots, but I’m sure that their appetites will change as food becomes scarcer since I’ve harvested most everything else.

{“colorSpace”:”kCGColorSpaceDisplayP3″,”cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:0.019769712290491626,”customExposureMode”:0,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:0}

{“colorSpace”:”kCGColorSpaceDisplayP3″,”cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:-0.0083384076741079838,”customExposureMode”:0,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:0}

{“colorSpace”:”kCGColorSpaceDisplayP3″,”cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:0.029225869974817797,”customExposureMode”:0,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:0}

{“colorSpace”:”kCGColorSpaceSRGB”,”cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:true,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:0.044567271074976489,”customExposureMode”:1,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:1}

{“colorSpace”:”kCGColorSpaceDisplayP3″,”cameraType”:”Wide”,”macroEnabled”:false,”qualityMode”:3,”deviceTilt”:0.042835875353540942,”customExposureMode”:0,”extendedExposure”:false,”whiteBalanceProgram”:0,”cameraPosition”:1,”focusMode”:0}

Happy 21st!

Dearest Tim,

Happy 21st birthday! It is both difficult for me to believe that 21 years have gone by since I first held you in my arms that Friday morning when you were born and welcomed you to this world and amazing to me that you have only been on this earth for 21 years. To say today that I am proud of you seems superfluous, you have heard those words slip from my lips many times over the past 21 years but you know they always come from the depths of my heart. It is far more appropriate to say that I am amazed by you. Amazed by how intelligent you are, how you seek and absorb knowledge like the rest of us breathe air – effortlessly like it’s second nature for you. Amazed by how kind, thoughtful and appreciative you are of everything and everyone – and how you are never too old or too cavalier to say so to me or anyone else that does something for you. Amazed by how you meld your roots with your wings. Everyday I am thankful that you are a part of my life and a part of our family.  If I could hug you and never let you go that would be so unfair to the rest of the world. I know that you are here to do extraordinary things and to touch so many more lives than just ours.

Sharing your love of Hafiz with me, gives me this to share with you today:

If What You Say Becomes Memorable

Most that is said is really like a distant echo.

Few minds are strong enough, free enough of prejudice and arrogance for the original thought to want to pass through.

The body is like a vase, a bell that can chime.

It does so to varying degrees in response to every experience and feeling.

The value of vases can differ, as you know, quite a bit.

How does heaven assign worth to our sounds?

It comes down to this:

If what you say or do becomes memorable to another in times of need,

an ally are you then considered by the gods. 

~~Tim, as you come upon this milestone — may you always be considered an ally by the gods.

All my love,

Mom