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Today is the day to celebrate your siblings.
It is National Siblings Day. The day was picked by the founder of the Siblings Day Foundation to honor her late siblings and is in fact, the birthday of her sister. For more information about National Siblings Day look here.
I love my brother and my sister, they are a big part of my life and for that I will be always grateful for their love, friendship and support, to them I send my love on this day and always.
Today, I also want to celebrate the siblings that we created. They are three amazing young men and I love them more than words can say. They are the best part of my life. While each of them is amazing individually, together they are so much more. I am happy that they will always have each other as they journey through life and will always share the common bond of family that is unique just to the three of them. While others will come and go in their lives, they will always have each other. By birth, they are stuck together and labeled as siblings. My wish for them, now and always, is that they remember that they are the best part of our family, in fact they are what makes the five of us a family. As the ties that bind all of us together loosen with their independence, my hope is that they have learned and will remember until their last breath, that they will always have each other. As different as each of them are, they share a common and unbreakable tie that is part of their very soul. They know each other better than anyone, even better in some respects than their father and I know them. If we have done our job well as their parents, that is the lesson that they will take with them as they go do great things in this world.
Grown and Flown had a wonderful article on siblings which I encourage you to read. Perhaps it struck a special chord with me because the author speaks to their three boys and their family of five.
My favorite part of that post is the following:
They hold each other’s childhood and with a word or a phrase the five of us are back together again, and we are all young with so much of our lives still unknown. I told them that I wanted them to be close forever because in the end they would always have each other, because it is truly a blessing in life if there is someone who can be counted on at any time. But I now realize I was being far more selfish, because as long as they are there for each other, they will always have us.
Once again, we need to read between the lines and maybe, just maybe, read the lines themselves, rather than let the media do the reading and interpreting for us. The new law passed in North Carolina is more than just a law regulating the use of public bathrooms in the state.
At the time of the Boston marathon bombing, we had a very interesting discussion at our dining room table to explain to the boys why, as horrible as it might seem at that time, that the suspected bomber needed to have his rights protected. The basic reason, is because they are your rights and my rights too. It is a very slippery slope that we go down when we think it’s okay to take away one person’s rights or deny one his or her rights. While it might seem perfectly fine under one circumstance (think the marathon bomber), what happens when it’s your turn and your rights that are up for grabs? Not so okay now is it? Like it or not, the rights we have apply to all of us, not just the ones that we pick and choose under the circumstances. When folks were opening up their doors to allow police to search their homes, how many invoked that wonderful little right called the 4th Amendment and said, no. No, you cannot just come into my home police, without a warrant and search it. Not now, not ever, because my constitutional rights say so.
If you actually read the new law in North Carolina, it has two parts. One part regulates the use of public restroom facilities and limits their use to a single sex based upon a person’s biological sex. The second part, entitled the Wage and Hour Act prevents any local government (read: city or town) from passing any law, ordinance or regulation that regulates the minimum wage in the state. That means that any person in North Carolina, not just transgender folks are subject to North Carolina’s whim on whether or not to raise the minimum wage. The minimum wage in North Carolina is presently $7.25 per hour. Unlike other places in the country where cities have chosen to raise the minimum wage because they recognize that living in a city may be more expensive, cities are now prohibited from any such actions.
The law addresses the minimum wage, and does not allow any local government to set a minimum wage.“The legislature took that power expressly away, so forbade any local government from raising the minimum wage beyond what federal and state law require,” Charlotte Law School Professor Brian Clarke said.
To give you an idea of why folks, all folks not just the transgender and LBGQ folks should be jumping up and down in protest, many places in the country have enacted $15 minimum wages. Realize this means that minimum wage workers in North Carolina are getting paid just about 1/2 of what other people working minimum wage jobs can get paid. Here in little tiny Vermont our minimum wage is $9.60 per hour and while that’s not great, it’s still way better than North Carolina. Do you see something wrong with what North Carolina did with this law? You should.
The law also prevents any person (read: ANY PERSON) from pursuing a state action under the law for the public policies expressed in the act which also governs employment discrimination. Guess what folks? Under the law and its line “This Article does not create, and shall not be construed to create or support, a statutory or common law private right of action, and no person may bring any civil action based upon the public policy expressed herein” seems that all persons in the state are affected. Got that? Everyone.
Have a discrimination claim based upon religion, race, color that does not fall into one of the state’s already established laws, guess what, you have no civil right to file suit in the state court according to this law. According to Charlotte School of Law professor, Brian Clark (who knows way more than little ‘ol lawyer me does) “In a very hidden way, it eliminated the ability for employees in North Carolina to file claims under state law for employment discrimination on the basis of race, sex, national origin, color and age,” Clarke said, “And that’s a right that North Carolina employees have had since 1982… and it’s gone.” Poof. Gone. Folks should be rioting in the streets.
So, people, especially those who are peppering Facebook with their very prejudiced views of the rights of the transgender community under the North Carolina law and those that are speaking out against it, perhaps you should realize that when a particular group’s rights are affected, maybe, just maybe your rights are too. Under this law, rights were affected, not just for a particular segment of the North Carolina population but for all of the North Carolina population.
See, it’s really not an us v. them mentality. People are people and under the laws of this country we are all entitled to our rights, whether or not each of us personally stands for or against the person behind the right. My kids understand this and have for some time. It’s about time that the adult population in this country realizes it too. One day, it could be your right that at stake. Remember that. Always.
It is so very hard to believe that 21 years have gone by since the day I first held you in my arms. You were the one that made me understand that the heart is a truly amazing thing, that it can expand way beyond the physical limits of the body. The day you were born, my heart grew a hundred times over and filled with love. A love that you will not really grasp yourself until you also stand in the role of parent looking down for the first time on your own child.
While I sometimes wish for another chance to get one of your little boy hugs or spend another day holding your little hand, I realize that is just plain selfish of me. You are everything that I would wish for you and so much more than I could every have imagined on that evening 21 years ago when I held you for the first time.
My wish for you as you embark on adulthood is that you see what your father and I see in you – a smart, handsome, funny, loving and kind young man who makes his parents very, very proud. While you step your feet further and further away from our home and into the world, remember that you are loved beyond the mere words I can write on this page. I know that you will do great things and you will do them with that wonderful smile and kindness that I have seen in your heart throughout the past 21 years. Those that are fortunate enough to cross paths with you as you walk through this journey called life will come to know you like I know you and they will be all the better for that.
Be kind to those you come upon in this life and share your smile, your laughter and your talents. Even at 21 years of age, an adult to all the world, you are and always will be my baby.
I love you forever. Happy Birthday!
(The woman who has the privilege to call herself your)