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Sometimes we are so self-centered and wrapped up in our own lives that we forget. We forget that as miserable as our day may be because we have a million different things to do or a tough project or a dreaded appointment, there are others for whom the day is even more difficult. We forget that their difficult day makes our day pale in comparison. All those things that we bitch and moan about are so trivial when you look at the bigger picture.

English: A Peafowl flaring his feathers. Franç...

English: A Peafowl flaring his feathers. Français : Un paon faisant la roue. Basa Sunda: Merak midang, mébérkeun buntutna anu warna-warni. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Today is one of those days. A friend and fellow mom is dealing with the one year anniversary of the tragic death of her son. I can only imagine that the projects on my to-do list and the worries in my heart today pale in comparison to her day today. I remember hearing the news and literally shaking. One of my son’s friends had tragically taken his own life and life for his family will never be the same. As a mom, I send good thoughts and prayers her way today since words are inadequate to convey my feelings.

For those of you who know them, please take a moment to pause and remember today. While we all surrounded them with love a year ago, it is important to remember that their loss and their grief remain one year later.

Thoughts, prayers and hugs go out to Cindy, Dan and Ben on this difficult day.

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So….it is so hard to believe that today was the first day of school. Summer has flown by, and what is even more alarming is that it is the boys’ last first day of school together. TJ starts senior year and next year, well, he might not be so happy to have his mom hunt him down and take pictures at college and that would mean dragging his brothers along …. and well you get the idea. They were gracious enough to humor me and allow me to take a “last” first day of school picture.

By coincidence they happened to all be standing exactly as they were in the first day of school picture when Tim started school. (I had nothing to do with that — but it was cool when I compared it to their first, first day of school picture) So hard to believe that so much time has just flown by!

Here’s to a great school year and a memorable and fun senior year!

Although today was about 80, it’s coming. Without a doubt. Today was the last day that the lake is open. As we were driving back from the hardware store, we saw this…..clear as day…..fall is coming.


In or own yard, the trees are turning……


And so we ask the question……..Can winter be far behind?

We had been away for a couple days visiting colleges. Our oldest, who is 17 is entering senior year and the college application deadlines are looming before us. Decisions will be made in the upcoming months that will have a life changing effect on our family, changing our family forever in a good, but different way.

While we were in Rochester I received word that another part of my extended family was coping with news on the opposite end of that spectrum. They  are dealing with an irreparable change to their family. My cousin and his wife lost their 23-year-old son. He was struck by a car and killed walking home, probably after a night out with friends. The breadth of this tragedy I cannot understand. While he lived in Florida and I did not know him well personally, my heart breaks for my cousins and their remaining children. It is the tragedy that no parent wants to face, the death of their child — no matter the age of the child.

It reminds us that life is precious and fragile. It is a gift that we have, for as long as we have it, and in the blink of an eye, it can be taken from us. While we can often be aggravated by our children or annoyed with our spouse — we need to remember that all of that, all of the mundane aspects of our daily existence, pales in comparison. Who wouldn’t trade most anything for another day with a loved one, another chance to argue, to perform the mundane tasks of life together, to sit and enjoy a conversation or a laugh?

Maybe you can say that as a result of this news and this tragedy, I will dote over my own boys just a little more and worry even more than I do — stressing to drive carefully and pay attention — but that is the natural maternal reaction; gather the cubs closer, protect them. Be thankful and feel blessed that you are lucky enough to have those you love around to dote upon and yell at. Multiple times every day, there are parents in this world who have had that taken from them, in the blink of an eye with the last beat of a heart, like my cousins.

My heart breaks for their loss.

Rest in Peace Michael………

We are returning home from a central/western New York state college visit extravaganza. We visited four very different schools and experienced four very different tours. The smallest school probably had the friendliest, longest and most detailed of all the tours. The last was the briefest with the group only actually stepping inside one building on the entire campus during the tour.

Interesting to see what the various schools highlighted as important to prospective students and the incredible diversity in what they chose to highlight or emphasize.

One of the schools emphasized its Leed platinum certified building. Our son was quick to point out that this would make his 2nd Leed platinum building (out of 80 possible) with the first one being in our own home state.

I think doing the visits back-to-back does highlight stark differences between schools. This is a LONG way from home so it will be interesting to see where we are this time next year.

Moving back into reality after vacation takes a lot out of you. It takes a whole lot out of you if you were stupid enough to schedule about a million different things on top of the regular things on the week that you return. Next year, I think that I am pretending that I am on vacation for two weeks, just so that the readjustment week isn’t quite so horrendous–and so tiring.



I have finally had a chance to look back at some of the pictures that I took while we were away and they remind me of how much fun we had and have made the craziness of this week a tad more bearable.


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There is something to be said for taking the boys on vacation. It is definitely entertaining. They are a force to be reckoned with and their incessant teasing of each other, makes for some great entertainment for Tom and I.


There’s the gang together waiting for dinner…..


TJ’s ever changing facial expressions amused them….



Ian took advantage of some “green space” to chill out waiting for a ride home from the beach.






One of the most hysterical things was when the other boys placed lots of chips and pieces of bread on a sleeping TJ at the beach … with a lot of hungry seagulls hanging nearby…. while they simply stood there falling over laughing….






There was some summer reading for school…..




Tim sporting his new shades…..

But it has been apparent that Alex has been quite popular with the girls during the trip (in the under 5 age group) ….fighting over who is going to sit next to him.




Playing on the beach. This is how I occupy my time.








Happy Wiggle Your Toes Day!


Today is, believe it or not, National Wiggle Your Toes Day. It is a day to set your toes free and wiggle away — exercising those toes! I personally cannot think of a better place to wiggle your toes than in the sand of the beach — but that’s just me. Sandy beaches are made for toe wiggling.

Wherever you choose, find some time today to go barefoot, walk through the cool grass, the warm sand or a puddle. Wiggle those toes!

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Fifteen years ago today, my youngest son came into this world. Kicking and screaming and not intended to have a “T” name like the rest of us, he arrived. Before he left the delivery room, he did acquire the “T” name of Tim. He completed the circle of our family. It has been wonderful to watch this little one grow into the young man that he is becoming. My heart has swelled with pride so many times with things that Tim has done that I’m surprised it hasn’t exploded. In the words of his brother, he has the voice of an angel and I could listen to him sing all day long. He is our actor and our singer. He has given us hours of entertainment, from his earliest “animal action” dancing to his most recent serenade of “Breakfast at Tiffanys” at this year’s bistro. One of my favorite things is that he never minds that I want to take his picture.

As he embarks on his next year, I know he has lots of good things ahead of him.

Happy Birthday Tim, we love you!

Evilwife on the move

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