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English: a bird nest Français : un nid d'oiseau

English: a bird nest Français : un nid d’oiseau (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

It’s been two weeks since we moved the boys to school, that’s two weeks without any kids still living at home.

My question is….  who came up with this whole “empty nest” symbolism anyway? Obviously no one who actually did some research. From what I have read, most adult birds don’t stick around the nest when the fledglings leave, in fact, from what I’ve read some even leave the nest before their little baby birds are off on their own.

Imagine just how that would play out in the human world.

Kid: I will be leaving in a week for college. Are you going to miss me? I need some help packing and getting my stuff there and set up in my dorm room.

Parents: Hope you have fun with that. We are outta here! Headed south for the winter or maybe for forever. The house has been sold since we aren’t living here anymore and you’ll have to leave earlier than a week.  Don’t even think about coming home in a month or two for a break or Thanksgiving because the house may be gone or new folks may be living here but one thing is definitely certain, your father and I, we won’t be coming back….ever. And that moving in and getting settled at college thing. Good luck with that.

I came across this quote online and it definitely takes some of the sting out of the whole “empty nest” stigma.

I don’t like the term “empty nesters”…. I prefer “parents of free range young adults.” Robin Fox.

It is definitely a weird transition to go from a house where I have to wonder and plan for things like who is going to be here for dinner and what food shopping needs to be done to a house where there’s really no one to care what time we eat (my husband is pretty flexible with the whole food thing) or if we even eat. Makes my hobby of cooking and baking pretty darn obsolete, doesn’t it? Think I have to find a new hobby to occupy my time.

We just hosted my nephew and his girlfriend for the weekend. We had fun, I got the chance to bake some goodies, make a real breakfast for all of us and enjoy their company. There is one thing that I can tell you though. When we would have a houseful of company and they would leave after the weekend, the house, with the five of us in it, seemed empty. The house with just two of us in it after company leaves is even more empty and quiet. Sigh…….

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Graduation came and was successful. It was heart warming to see these kids, many of whom I have known for years and watched grow, celebrate the end of high school and the beginning of their journey into the world.  It was a wonderful ceremony and one of my favorite parts is that, as chair of the school board, I got to award Tim his diploma (and a big, proud mama hug). So very, very proud of Tim and his accomplishments, as I am of his brothers. They are great young men and I love them with all my heart.

Here are some of the pictures from the ceremony.

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Now, I’ve also got a complete set of pictures of the boys from each of their graduations.

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Today is an awesome day. It is the day that our youngest son will be graduating and closing the door on his high school years. Fear not though because a new door is opening for him and I am positive that amazing opportunities await him on the other side when he walks through that door and heads off to college in August.

I know that I am a bit partial, being his mother and all, but I am sure that there are those that would agree with me that Tim is an amazing young man. To say that I am proud of him and what he has achieved is an major understatement. He has an amazing work ethic, determination and resolve and he has demonstrated this in every task he undertakes. When we sat at senior awards last night and Tim was called to the stage several times, I can assure you that it was solely as a result that hard work and tenacity. The long hours, dedication and determination he showed in everything he did in high school were apparent and recognized last evening. These traits will serve him well in whatever he chooses to do in the years to come and whatever path he chooses to walk through life. I know that I am not alone when I say that I will miss his cheerfulness, helpfulness and his especially his singing when he departs for college next year.

Watching your child mature and flourish through the years is an amazing opportunity and I am privileged to say that I am “Tim’s mom”.

To my dear graduate and all his classmates, a heartfelt congratulations. Enjoy your special day, you worked towards it from the very first days of school. Revel in your accomplishments, it has truly been a job well done.

With all my love,

Mom

A friend’s friend posted this on Facebook. I simultaneously was laughing and crying because it’s exactly what I would say and what moms want. I had to share.

Thanks, Mary Carpenter for the great words!

So I’ve decided to be proactive and tell my kids what I want for mother’s day. Here it is:

What I Want for Mother’s Day

Dear Children,

Mother’s Day is coming up, and I thought I should tell you what I want. This way there’s no guilty panic or last minute purchasing of flowers at the closest gas station. So, this is what I want, this year and every year after; it’s pretty simple really.

I want you to be a decent human being.

I want you to be who you are, but don’t be an asshole.

I want you to work hard at everything you do, because life is too short not to give it everything you’ve got.

I want you to ask for help when you need it.

I want you to help others when they need it.

I want you to learn how to cook, do your own laundry, pay your bills and know how to clean a bathroom.

When you screw up, and you will, more than once, I want you to own it, because it’s the screw-ups that make the victories sweeter.

I want you to travel, because the world is huge and you are one part of it.

I want you to know that even when we hate each other, I will never stop loving you.

I want you to play nicely with others.

I want you to feed your curiosity.

I want you to find a way to do what you love, and realize that that might look different than you originally thought.

I want you to respect every human being’s right to be who they are.

I want you to sometimes be more interested in someone else than in yourself.

I want you to know that you are flawed and you are extraordinary. There is no one else like you.

I want you to know that I would lay down my life for you in Lily Potter fashion any day of the week.

I want you to realize how lucky you are every once in awhile even if only for an instant.

I want you to know love, even if it means getting hurt.

I want you to relax and not feel guilty about it.

I want you to know life can be brutally hard sometimes.

I want you to know that you can choose happiness even when the dark side offers you cookies.

And I wouldn’t mind breakfast in bed.

See, simple.

Love,

Mom

It’s hard to explain to anyone who is not a mother what it is like. Loving each and every one of your children so much that you would rather die yourself than see anything bad happen to them. Loving each one of them absolutely, yet having enough love in your heart for the others. I won’t say that it’s always easy, or happy — it is definitely not. It’s hard, it’s challenging and sometimes what is the best in the long run, is not the decision you really want to make, but you do because you know that deep down, it’s the right thing to do.

Watching your children grow up, holding them when they are sick or comforting them when they are sad, watching them do something totally awesome and thinking that your heart is just going to explode right out of your chest with pride as you swallow back (or don’t) the tears that so easily flow. These are some of the things that make you wonder how you could be anything else but the mom that you are.

No one can explain seeing this person that was a part of you, that lived for months and months inside of you, become their own person, no one can explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it what this is like… and how, in a heartbeat, despite the seesaw of emotions that go along with it, you would do it all over again without so much as a second thought.

To all the moms in my life, my mom and my husband’s mom, to my sister and sister-in-law, my mom cousins and cousin-in-laws, aunts and my wonderful mom friends  who are all  amazing people and have always been there, during the ups and the downs, through the smiles and the tears of this wonderful journey…..

Happy Mother’s Day

 

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