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It happens to all of us at one time or another. We get knocked down, either figuratively or as more usual in my case, literally. I am really quite clumsy as those near and dear to my heart will confirm. I could go on at length to recount stories of this physical ineptness, but I diverge.

Here in this blog post we are discussing the figurative falling down. Last week almost exactly at this time, I had an interesting conversation with a company’s recruiter about a very interesting job possibility. It was exciting to have someone contact me, pretty much out of the blue, about an interesting opportunity that would meld my love of writing with my capabilities as an attorney. The weekend that followed was one that I haven’t had in a while, daydreams full of possibilities about what might be while working on some supplemental documentation that was requested from me.  I have learned that I am not a lucky one in a lot of respects and therefore generally resign myself to the pessimistic side of my own abilities and capabilities, but I succumbed on this one and actually became more and more intrigued by what seemed a pretty real potential opportunity and ever so slightly, more excited about this possible new chapter.

Did it work out? Short answer, no. Was I disappointed? Absolutely. But I did what a responsible adult that’s on the other side of the half-century mark would do (after my little emotional breakdown and pity party) and stood back up after that fall. I got up the next morning and did the job I have, not having the time to give much though to the remotely possible imaginary job I might have loved (or I might have hated). It was the stuff of daydreams and I had a great couple days imaging “what ifs” and feeling pretty flattered about being contacted at all. Lesson learned is that I was probably the most upset with myself that I let someone clear across the country have that kind of control over me and that I was that quick to fall. People don’t just get phone calls for potentially awesome job opportunities out of the blue that actually happen. At least not in my world.

If I were feeling optimistic, which I try to be, I would say that this means there is a better opportunity that awaits. Not sure I have gotten there yet. For now, I stood back up. That is enough.

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We were driving from NJ to Mass to pick up our oldest son from camp. He was attending a computer camp at Smith College which is put together by IDTech Camps. My friend sent me an email asking if I had heard that Randy Pausch had passed away. It was with tears in my eyes that I read the article. A few months ago, another friend had sent me a link to his reprised “last lecture” from Oprah’s show. Listening to that 10 or 15 minute lecture brought tears to my eyes. Gosh, this man, a couple years older than Tom and I, with three little children, was dying from pancreatic cancer and put together a lecture that makes anyone stop complaining about their life and start thinking about how lucky they are and what a blessing each and every day is because you get to spend it with the people around you. I did some poking around online and started reading this professor’s blog. It was truly inspirational how this man who literally had months to live rose above his own self loathing to be an advocate for research on the disease that was killing him and an inspiration for so many people. I only could hope that I have half that amount of strength and selflessness if I were in a similar situation. Tom bought his book, “The Last Lecture” for me and I am starting to read it. I am sure that it will be with a box of Kleenex by my side. An interesting behind the scenes with the WSJ writer who co-wrote the book is here.

I highly recommend listening to the entire lecture (approximately 75 minutes long) which is located online and linked to at the following page which is the article posted by Carnegie Mellon regarding his death. http://www.cmu.edu/homepage/beyond/2008/summer/an-enduring-legacy.shtml

For anyone who is interested, the blog which was taken over during his last days by a friend, is a true testament to the power of the human spirit. My heartfelt condolences to his wife and his three young children. May those children one day understand how truly selfless and inspirational their father was when others would have already fallen apart by the despair of their lot in life.  I truly believe that his life expectancy (which exceeded his doctor’s expectations) was linked to his optimism.

Evilwife on the move

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