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So, here is something that I found over at Sivana and it’s pretty good Zen Wednesday wisdom, and good for a few laughs, especially after the last few weeks. #6, #12 and #18 are favorites of mine. What are yours?

21 Sarcastic Zen Sayings You Need In Your Life

  1. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.
  2. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
  3. Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me either. Just pretty much leave me the hell alone.
  4. The journey of a thousand miles begins with a broken fan belt and leaky tire.
  5. Some days you’re the bug; some days you’re the windshield.
  6. If you ever feel you are worthless remember that you are full of expensive organs.
  7. It’s always darkest before dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.
  8. Don’t be irreplaceable. If you can’t be replaced, you can’t be promoted.
  9. Always remember that you’re unique, just like everyone else…
  10. Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
  11. Good judgment comes from bad experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
  12. If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
  13. No matter what happens, somebody will find a way to take it too seriously.
  14. Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
  15. If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
  16. The quickest way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your pocket.
  17. A closed mouth gathers no foot.
  18. Duct tape is like ‘The Force’. It has a light side and a dark side, and it holds the universe together.
  19. Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
  20. Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
  21. If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.

Death
Via: Medical Insurance

So, today was my birthday. Happy to report that unlike last year, there were no trips to the emergency room and no broken bones (for anyone). So, you might ask, what does a mother of three teenage and almost teenage sons expect on her birthday? What does she do? She almost cries when she gets cards made by her sons that remind her of exactly why she spent the better part of the afternoon and evening carting kids to and fro – even when it meant not eating a real dinner but rather sneaking a turkey sandwich around 9:30 tonight. She remembers what makes family and friends so special, whether they are near or far, but care enough to track me down for birthday wishes. She opens her birthday present, presented to her in grand fashion at 10 p.m. tonight by a parade of smiling, smirking, giggling boys who laugh their pants off when she opens her present to find this:

DSCN5088

and for those of you who cannot quite make out my array of lovely presents crammed into my gift box so skillfully wrapped with at least one whole roll of invisible tape there were:

1 used can of Axe (otherwise known as boy air freshener-while it stinks, un-showered boys tend to stink more)

1 Matchbox fire engine (to remind me that they are really still kids at heart)

1 XBox headset (to remind me that they are teenagers)

1 DVD of Elf (why?- I have no idea but maybe they are telling me that I am short since they are all either taller or just about as tall as I am)

1 Boy Scout hat (again – why? I have no idea)

the rest of the roll of invisible tape (which I cannot exactly figure out how they got it inside the box that they wrapped – but hey, some mysteries are better left unanswered

and last but, certainly not least:

1 extremely dirty, stinky sock (because I am the Queen of Laundry living with 4 men) (Also note my lovely birthday dinner sitting there in the corner – I treated myself to swirled pumpernickel bread for my turkey – my birthday pleasures know no bounds!)

So…..after the boys composed themselves and got up from rolling hysterically on  the floor, they let me open the smaller wrapped present that was in the bottom of the box.

DSCN5091

A bright red, shiny new digital camera.  I had to wrestle it free of Tyler’s hands in order to actually get to hold for this picture. (Note his scowl). Seems he likes it too, maybe more than me, if that is even possible.

So you see, being a mom of three sons isn’t without its humor. And the lesson in all of this is – sometimes if you look beyond the stinky sock in life, there is a real gift in there somewhere.

Evilwife on the move

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