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We had been away for a couple days visiting colleges. Our oldest, who is 17 is entering senior year and the college application deadlines are looming before us. Decisions will be made in the upcoming months that will have a life changing effect on our family, changing our family forever in a good, but different way.

While we were in Rochester I received word that another part of my extended family was coping with news on the opposite end of that spectrum. They  are dealing with an irreparable change to their family. My cousin and his wife lost their 23-year-old son. He was struck by a car and killed walking home, probably after a night out with friends. The breadth of this tragedy I cannot understand. While he lived in Florida and I did not know him well personally, my heart breaks for my cousins and their remaining children. It is the tragedy that no parent wants to face, the death of their child — no matter the age of the child.

It reminds us that life is precious and fragile. It is a gift that we have, for as long as we have it, and in the blink of an eye, it can be taken from us. While we can often be aggravated by our children or annoyed with our spouse — we need to remember that all of that, all of the mundane aspects of our daily existence, pales in comparison. Who wouldn’t trade most anything for another day with a loved one, another chance to argue, to perform the mundane tasks of life together, to sit and enjoy a conversation or a laugh?

Maybe you can say that as a result of this news and this tragedy, I will dote over my own boys just a little more and worry even more than I do — stressing to drive carefully and pay attention — but that is the natural maternal reaction; gather the cubs closer, protect them. Be thankful and feel blessed that you are lucky enough to have those you love around to dote upon and yell at. Multiple times every day, there are parents in this world who have had that taken from them, in the blink of an eye with the last beat of a heart, like my cousins.

My heart breaks for their loss.

Rest in Peace Michael………

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Death
Via: Medical Insurance

I am going to preface this post by saying that I totally agree that what the man did was wrong, horrific and he will sit among some of the most horrifying murderers that have paved paths in history. I realize that our world was forever changed by his actions and our country suffered a national and personal tragedy on September 11, 2001. None of us will forget the horror, loss, sadness and despair that characterized that day and the days that followed for so many people that lost loved ones.  Was his death warranted? Was his death justified? Not a question.

That being said, am I the only one that feels a little odd that we as a nation, are reveling in the fact that we murdered someone? We are dancing in the streets and partying and celebrating the fact that we (our country’s special forces) killed someone. Isn’t that a little odd? We are celebrating the death of a mad, insane lunatic of an individual. We are celebrating, not unlike he and his followers who, I am sure, were dancing, singing and rejoicing when they destroyed buildings, planes and murdered thousands of our people in our country on September 11, 2001. Does this make us the same as them? They too celebrated death and murder and destruction that day.

As I read the stories in the newspapers and saw the pictures and video accounts, my stomach turned just a little. Yes, there is satisfaction in putting an end, hopefully, to the reign of terror and senseless killing that marked his way. But celebration? Partying in the streets? Thousands of people cheering and chanting? It honestly turned my stomach just a little. We didn’t dance in the streets like that for other reasons — true celebrations, celebrations of life — yet last night, many fled from homes, dorms and businesses onto the streets to celebrate….. a murder?

Initial testing indicates that the 26-year-old United States swimmer, Fran Crippen died of a heart attack while swimming in an open water race in the United Arab Emirates. I think that as a mom, this is one of the scariest things. Here, evidently was a young man who appeared perfectly healthy. So healthy in fact that he was able to participate in the 10 kilometer Marathan World Cup Swimming Race. More healthy than most of us from outward appearance. Yet, he just apparently dropped dead during the race and was found two hours later by deep sea divers. Scary, scary stuff. You’ve heard me say this before, but seriously this scares the be-jeebers out of me. There was nothing, not a single blessed thing that anyone including the woman that gave birth to him and I am sure would have gladly given her own life if she had the opportunity, could do to save his life.

As a parent, we all have fears- irrational and rational – about our children and their health and well-being. When I read a story like this, it sends shivers down my spine. My boys, as I look at them now, seem perfectly healthy. Yet, it appears in a heartbeat, that can always change – no big bad guys for us parents to beat up on, no big horrible illness to blame for their demise.

Thoughts and prayers go out to this young man’s family – I can only imagine the depth and extent of their grief.

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I am sorry, I can’t help it but there are certain things that are ingrained in us from our parents and grandparents. Superstition or not, dread often accompanies this one – Death comes in Threes. I am a rational, well educated, professional. Yet when I hear that someone I know has died, I hear my grandmother – in fact I hear both my grandmothers’ voices –Death comes in Threes. Now I know that logically if you wait long enough or think hard enough you can link together three deaths that you know, either directly or through acquaintances. But this one somehow fills me with dread and makes my skin crawl. In the past few weeks I learned of three rather unexpected deaths that were all people that I know.

First came the totally unexpected death of my former employer and mentor. He was a man that was like a father to me and quite honestly I knew him almost as long as I knew my own father. His family grew up around me, while I was growing up myself. My children knew him and his family. Our lives were intertwined through the years. He died suddenly and I felt almost like I had lost my own Dad all over again. Next came the death of the father of our good friend and my brother-in-law. A complication from a procedure caused internal bleeding that resulted in his untimely and unexpected death. A man with a heart of gold, a smile for everyone and again, someone that I have know for the better part of 20 plus years. My heart goes out to my brother-in-law and our friend and their entire family – I know too well that no matter how old you are, losing a parent is like losing a part of yourself.

Today, we learned that a very old friend of my husband’s had died. Initially, it was shocking because it struck a little too close to home – he was our exact age with a wife and beautiful daughters, children whose ages almost mirrored our own. The circumstances of his death came later and were, to say the least, even more disturbing. Our hearts and prayers go out to his wife and daughters – may they have some comfort to carry them through their grief.

So, I must side with Grandma and Nanny – it certainly does appear that death comes in threes.

Lately, there has been a lot of discussion around the T’s House of death, dying and tragedy. The earthquake in Haiti and the horrid destruction, death and injury that it has left in its wake are devastating. A good friend who was staying with us has a close uncle that is close to passing away at any moment. Seeing him wrestle with the sadness and grief that accompanies losing someone you love brings back sad memories for me.

Patty at Where Did the Time Go? blog posted a link to a blog from a teacher in her area that was volunteering down in Haiti at the time of the earthquake and recounts as some of us hope we will never know in our lifetime, the horror, fear and panic of a country brought to its knees by a natural disaster. I strongly encourage you to take a look at it.

The boundaries which divide Life from Death are at best shadowy and vague. Who shall say where the one ends, and where the other begins? ~ Edgar Allen Poe.

Today is the birthday of Edgar Allen Poe, his 201st. Fitting that in all this news of death and destruction, the writer who can make us shiver with his very words should celebrate a birthday. Last night, for the first time since 1949, the mysterious visitor that has for these last 61 years left cognac and roses at the gravesite of Mr. Poe on his birthday did not come. No one knows why although there is much speculation. Crowds of onlookers, illness, maybe even the visitor’s own death?

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Yaz, a birth control pill manufactured by Bayer (the aspirin people) has been all over the news and blog world in the past few days. It appears that Bayer has caught a great deal of bad press due to the fact that approximately 70 lawsuits have been filed against the manufacturer alleging injuries resulting from consuming the pill and its sister pill, Yasmin. Litigants report that the birth control pills containing the novel progestin, drospirenone (which was approved by the FDA in 2001 in Yasmin), cause increased risk of strokes, blood clots and heart problems. In fact on Friday, the news was replete with a Swiss investigation of the death of an otherwise healthy young woman earlier this month from a pulmonary embolism after beginning the use of Yaz ten months earlier and the death of a 16-year-old girl after she began taking Yaz earlier this year. Pulmonary embolisms are scary stuff since they are usually fatal and strike with little or no, warning. The New York Times published an article on Friday outlining one woman’s illness following ingesting Yaz as well as a recount of the difficulties Bayer has encountered both early on and more recently as a result of its’ top selling products. There is also evidence that the use of Yaz can cause devastating gall bladder disease requiring surgical removal of the gallbladder according to Dr. Shezad Malik. Early on, both Yaz and Yasmin were advertised as drugs to not only provide contraceptive relief, but also to provide acne treatment and treatment for pre-menstrual syndrome and other pre-menstrual mood and emotional issues suffered by many women. Bayer was admonished by the FDA and agreed to launch a new advertising campaign downplaying its earlier advertising and warning women of the risks inherent in the use of any birth control pill. Bayer has endured the wrath of the FDA recently also when it was issued a warning letter regarding quality control issues at the German manufacturing plant where drospirenone is produced for the birth control line. This called into question in some fronts the effectiveness of the birth control pills that were manufactured with this product. The FDA and Bayer both advised that there was no need to recall the drugs and their effectiveness as a contraceptive should not be affected by the quality issues addressed by the FDA.

Today, my friend Tracy Station, who writes for FiercePharma devoted her article to the Yaz and Yasmin controversy and gives the reader a good overview of both sides of the controversy.

The buzz in legal circles is whether the FDA will cause Bayer to recall Yaz given the frenzy of claims and allegations. There are presently cases filed in federal courts in Georgia, Pennsylvania, Ohio, Puerto Rico and Wisconsin alleging product liability claims against Bayer for alleged Yaz and Yasmin related injuries. The United States Judicial Panel on Multidistrict litigation scheduled a hearing on the consolidation of all Yaz litigation into one forum under the auspices of one federal judge on September 24th. No decision has been released as of yet regarding the outcome of that hearing. This is in addition to any state court claims, such as the Illinois case, which has been filed.

My interest in this is both intellectual and personal. I have taken Yaz since September 2006.

Earlier this year, I went online scouring forums and blogs for information about Yaz and a possible link to rashes or contact dermatitis. At the time, I was suffering from a horrendous rash on various parts of my body that lasted well over a year and corresponded from a time perspective to my switch to Yaz. I was amazed to read the horror stories conveyed by hundreds of women (and some men on their women’s behalf) relating to health issues and problems which seemed to surface after commencing a Yaz or Yasmin regime. I discounted a large amount since some of the posters seemed to have a penchant for complaining. I found nothing on “official” medical sites regarding a link between the two on my issue despite spending a great deal of time looking for one. My concern stemmed solely from the coincidence of the appearance of a rash that was stubborn and did not subside despite removal of multiple possible allergens from both my environment and my diet and my switch-over to Yaz.

I must admit that the news these last few days is alarming and rest assured that I will be monitoring what goes on and make an informed decision after discussing the whole issue with my doctor if the investigations that are underway in Switzerland reveals a definite link between the ingestion of Yaz and the embolism which killed a 16-year-old girl early this year and killed another woman earlier this month.

Today we lost a member of the family. Not a human member, but a member just the same and we are sad. This morning we found one of the chickens dead in the coop. I know that there are some that would laugh that I am pausing to remember a chicken, but she was a good chicken, and she will be missed. More importantly, her death is symbolic of how precious life is and how quickly it can be gone. I think that everyone needs a wake up call now and again, when we think ourselves invincible and we think about material things that are so inconsequential in the great scheme of things and we afford them such a great place in our world. Life is precious. We forget that, regardless of who or what we do or do not believe in, life is a miracle and a gift. It is fleeting and it should be lived to its fullest. I don’t ever recall anyone lying on a deathbed and wondering whether their business would be okay when they are gone, or gloating in the their material accomplishments. All too often, people, usually too late, regret that they have not lived their life and enjoyed it.  Some of them, close to me, forget that life is very special and very precious and should never be lived as an afterthought. After work, after business, after things….. Each life is special and precious and unique….even a chicken’s.

Rest in peace, little chicken, you were loved and you will be missed.

I miss my dad….a lot. He passed away unexpectedly on this exact date 7 years ago. It was only a few days after Father’s Day. And I will regret it for the rest of my life. I couldn’t see him, although I did talk to him on the phone. The boys were sick with Fifth’s Disease and the pediatrician suggested that I stay away since both my parents were down with some type of bug and with compromised immune systems and my dad’s other medical issues, it was not worth the chance. To this day, I think that maybe I should have disregarded the doctor’s advice and gone see him, at least just me, for Father’s Day. I didn’t and when I did get to the hospital that morning after my brother called, he had already sunk into unconsciousness, from which he never recovered. He never knew that I was there, I never got to say goodbye and tell him that I loved him one last time and I will regret that for the rest of my life. And every time I think about it, it makes me cry. I guess that you never really miss someone, like a parent or a spouse, someone that you take for granted every day, until they are no longer there. And then all you can think about are the things that you will never be able to hear them say, or do, ever again. For instance, there is no one, absolutely no one who will ever call me his “baby” or “sweetheart”. That was my dad who used those terms with me and only him and I can still hear his voice saying those words during that last conversation I had with him on Father’s Day. It makes me really sad and it took a LONG time before I could even bring myself to go to the cemetery, although I felt really guilty about that too.

I yearn for the opportunity for that “one more day” geez even one more conversation or hug or to let him see my boys and what great kids they are turning out to be and how he would be so proud. We often talk, Tom and I about how much my dad would love our house here in Vermont and how much he would enjoy our neighbors and friends and chatting with all of them. My dad loved to talk and gosh, there are so many great people here that I would just have LOVED him to meet and for them to meet him.

That day, 7 years ago, a part of me died along with him, because I know that I am a different person because of what happened. I cannot change that, but I can make sure that the same mistake does not happen again. Life is fragile and such a gift, our life can turn on its end in seconds and usually when we expect it least. Trust me, I know what I mean. I love you Daddy, and I miss you a lot. 

Evilwife on the move

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