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Today is a rainy, muddy, windy really kind of blah and depressing day. So….let’s interject some humor as the wind kicks up and sends my unfettered curls flying so I really do look like the wicked witch by the end of the day.

This excerpt comes from Radar Magazine which published the Top 100 ways to try to go green.

Some of these had me hysterical….here are some of those that produced a chuckle. Hope they do the same for you. Check the link for the whole list.

  • Powering down Grandma’s respirator after dark.
  • If it’s yellow, letting it mellow.
  • Finally extinguishing that backyard tire fire.
  • Turning down the air conditioners in our Malaysian sweatshop.
  • Using Bat Signal only when absolutely necessary.
  • Making sure the Hummer’s fridge is outfitted with plenty of organically grown veggies.
  • When taking cabs, insisting that drivers turn off their headlights.
  • Switching from plastic water bottles to a wooden cup tethered around neck with twine.
  • Controlling the compulsive need to incinerate underwear after each use.
  • Naming firstborn “Inconvenient Truth.”
  • Switching to paperless death threats.
  • Settling for slightly less awesome laser shows.
  • Forgoing baths for rigorous cycle of “wind-bathing.”
  • Petitioning NASA to convert all space shuttles to electric/unleaded gas hybrids.
  • Insisting that Baskin-Robbins workers wash and reuse our pink sample spoons.
  • Less grocery shopping, more bow hunting.
  • Forgoing paper napkins, and just wiping hands on pants.
  • Spending whatever it takes to make the foot-powered Flintstones car a reality.
  • Instead of owning TV, watching neighbor’s TV through telescope.
  • Replacing standard light bulbs with kerosene-soaked torches.
  • Washing the Escalade with citrus-based cleansers.
  • TiVo-ing anything Ed Begley, Jr.–related.
  • Building McMansion that will biodegrade in two months.
  • Cutting down on own personal “greenhouse gas emissions” with Beano
  • Replacing electric chair with good old-fashioned guillotine.

Evilwife on the move

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