The past few days have been pretty crazed and I have been admittedly, pretty mopey. I think that in trying not to think about things, I have been thinking about them even more. My concentration sucks and I really feel very detached from everything and everyone. Poor little me. To make matters worse, my itching is driving me insane, although just about the only spot that is not itchy and I really need and want (god that is sick) it to be, is my shin. I want to have it get inflamed, get the biopsies done and get the whole deal over with. Finality… in one way or the other. My nerves are getting the better of me and my mood. Tom has been a doll and he has distracted me doing his best to keep me laughing through all of this…or at least not crying.

Anyhow, enough of me and my poor pathetic self. We are supposed to get snow, evidently, the first real storm of anywhere between 3 and 8 inches of snow tonight into tomorrow. A little white magic to change the world outside my window and my mood would be delightful.

At dinner tonight, we were discussing those family members that we miss. A few weeks ago, my oldest son literally grabbed me in the middle of little country fair and dragged me over to a booth of baked goods. “Smell.” He directed. “Doesn’t it smell just like Nanny’s house?” Wow. Talk about a blast from the past. Tom’s grandmother, to whom he was referring has been dead for some years now, but it was nice to know that the boys still think of, and remember her. LIkewise, we were discussing his uncle and my aunt, and how each of them would have enjoyed Vermont and our children and our friends and neighbors here. Tom’s Uncle Duane was very much like my father and quite honestly, the two of them would have gotten along great and both we would have had to evict physically from our house since they would have loved it so much here. Another person I think of often and miss, is my Aunt Mary. She was a lively, fun person and we always looked forward to her visits and her delicious pies during the holidays. She would show up in a car literally with the backseat filled with pies of all different types. Yummy. No one has been able to re-create those or her delicious stuffing, although we all have tried mighty hard. She would have loved my boys and I know that they would have adored her. It is funny to think of those people who are gone in body but their spirit lives on in our memories. Brings tears to my eyes since these thoughts have often, of late, crossed my mind.

About these ads